What Repentance is NOT

You've sinned.  You realize it.  You do not excuse it.  You are ready to admit it.  The only right and proper Christian response to sin is repentance.  Unfortunately, we are not clear on what repentance is and is not, and so it is too common that we do not really repent of our sins.  I want to briefly sketch out some common misconceptions of repentance to help distinguish true repentance from false.  First, repentance is not just being sorry.  We've all seen and been the person who gets into sin, realizes the error, and feels really bad about it.  Maybe we even cry over it.  We're eaten up by guilt.  We feel very ashamed, and we're immediately sorry we sinned.  BUT, we don't need to confuse sorrow with repentance.  It will many times accompany and precede repentance, but it is not the same.  Paul says "Godly sorrow leads to repentance."  See that?  Real, godly sorrow is not the same as repentance, but should lead us to repent.  You can feel sorry, and still not repent.  Second, repentance is not the same as confession.  When I confess my sins, I am essentially agreeing with God that my sin is sin.  We're saying to God, "You call what I've done a sin, and I must now do the same."  The Bible says that if we confess our sins, that God is faithful and just and will forgive them.  Yet one might confess sin, and still not repent.  Again it is a part of repentance, but not the same as repentance.  We begin by recognizing our sin as sin, calling it that, and making a confession of it to the Lord.  Last, repentance is not just a firm resolve not to engage in that act of sin anymore.  How many times have you sinned, felt guilty, confessed it to God, and then put your foot down that this will never happen again?  Until it does happen again.  Then we make another firm resolution that lasts until it ends.  We should never be too impressed with our firm resolve.  I'm pretty certain God isn't.  Real repentance is not resolve though it includes resolve.  Do you not love posts that tell you all about what something is not, without telling you what something is?  Well, today that's what you get!  A post about what something isn't, but not what it is.  I will continue this post later, and look briefly at what real repentance is. 

"I hate myself and want to die"

Whoa, not me. Not literally anyway. It's the title of a song written and released by the 90's rock band Nirvana. Their lead singer reportedly would answer "How are you doing" questions with this line. Kurt Cobain went on to commit suicide in 1994 by shooting himself in the head with a shotgun. It's a tragic end to a strangely troubled life. Whether in a sarcastic tone or not, anyone who would answer "How are you?" with "I hate myself and want to die" is a troubled man. Plagued with strange demons (not necessarily literally).

Yet in a strange way it is not altogether uncommon to experience self-hatred. The enemy uses that to his advantage, including those who follow Jesus. Ask yourself a question. Have you ever had feelings of self-hatred when you sin? Even as a child of God? Feelings of such strong guilt that you feel like you're beyond the love of the Father? So much so that when you look in the mirror you're so disgusted with what you see that you're not sure you want to see yourself again. (Ol' Faithful Internet Monk explains this phenomenon well here. Read it and prepare to have your mind read to you).

The enemy would say to you "Run and hide from God. You're so very dirty and God wants nothing to do with you." Not unlike Silar from the TV show Heroes in last nights episode. He induces so much guilt on the part of the Mya character (actually quite a bore of a storyline), that he has her believe she wanted to kill her brother's wife and that he hates her for doing so (an act she had NO control over at the time).

The Gospel says to us rather than "Run and hide, you're far too dirty for God," "Run TO God, you've already been forgiven in Jesus Christ. Nothing you can do will cause God to love you more or less." We struggle mightily with this. It's easier to allow self-hate to cloud and consume you than it is to rest in God's forgiveness of you in Jesus. When we betray God, which happens on a regular basis, our flesh lets us know and believe that we now sit in infinite guilt. It's hard to explain the difference between guilt and conviction in a saint of God. Conviction is the Holy Spirit's way of getting us to repent. When we once repent and turn, any guilt is induced by the enemy and not by God.

So when you sin, child of God, don't run away from God. Don't hide your face in shame. Take the conviction as an opportunity for repentance and restoration. Take the guilt then, and throw it away. Claim the precious promise of God that "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins, and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." You may have to tell yourself that again and again. But please don't answer God's conviction with "I hate myself and want to die." Answer it by repenting and then resting in forgiveness.

When I Don't Feel Like Going to God...

Is the time of greatest urgency...
Is the time of greatest danger...
Is the time I need Him most...
Is the time I want Him least...
Is the time I don't want discipline...
Is the time I feel I deserve it...
Is the time I am most desperate...
Is the time He is so willing...
Is the time He is still waiting...
Is the time His blood was shed for...
Is the time I am still His child...
Is the time I became alive for...
Is the time that I should go to Him.

Sin, Guilt, and Deliverance

There are times in every believers life when we sin a particularly "sinful sin." These are the types of sins that make it difficult for us to even go to God with confession and repentance. We think to ourselves, "That sin is too bad for even God to deal with." When we think thoughts like that and act on them by listening to ourselves we are exactly where the enemy would like us to be. The whispers in your ear that accuse you of guilt are not the whispers of God. The ones telling you "That's too bad to go to God over" are not the thoughts of God. The New Covenant we are part of in Jesus Christ tells us that our standing before God is now and always based solely on the blood of Jesus. That it is Christ's sacrificial death for us that allows us to stand before God as sinners and be looked on as saints. Anytime we fall prey to the lie that we can't go to God with one sin or another we've let the enemy gain a foothold and said the New Covenant isn't enough for us. That there's something we need to add. We have nothing to add. God knows that. Do you? When you feel especially guilty, that is exactly the right time to go before God and repent and confess. You have nothing else to give. Before you confess and repent you feel conviction from the Holy Spirit. Afterwards, you feel guilt and that guilt is not from God. It's from the enemy. Listen to conviction. Shun post-confession guilt.